Pigs are to Pork as Horses are to... Horse Meat?

I read this article earlier today about how the law would soon allow the slaughter of horses for meat.  (Horse meat is an interest of mine. It's normal. Thanks for asking.)  Anyways, the last line of the second paragraph struck me as a little odd:

Congress lifted the ban [on slaughtering horses for meat] in a spending bill President Barack Obama signed into law Nov. 18 to keep the government afloat until mid-December.

I'm pretty sure there's something in The Constitution that protects our god-given right to slaughter horses but still, I am happy that Congress reaffirmed that right in a subtle, efficient and not at all weird way. Way to go, government.

Big Ten Championship Mini-Rant

Ah, the madness of being a Michigan State Spartan fan.  Is this not the opportunity we've been waiting for for so, so long: a chance to play our way into the Granddaddy of them all, The Rose Bowl (presented by some company)?  It's supposed to be.  But it feels like we're getting screwed all over again.  What a hose job.  Last year before the advent of the B1G title game, the Spartans, tied for the league title, lost a popularity contest/ tie-breaker to other co-champs, Ohio State and Wisconsin, and were relegated to a non-BCS bowl... which I cannot recall.  Now in the first year of divisional play, the team has played its way against all the toughest teams (save for Penn State) to become the only seven-win team in the conference.  Now, to move on, the Spartans will need to re-defeat early favorite, Wisconsin.  Win and you're in.  Lose and you're in... The Outback Bowl?  I say win and let's get in.  I'm not going to cry if we lose and I encourage all Spartan fans to shut their yaps if that happens.  Although all Spartan fans will know with a wink and a nod that we're getting screwed, just like usual.

Adding possible insult to potential injury is the rumor that if State loses, UofM would be jettisoned into an at-large BCS berth.  I guess we'll see if that happens but right now, UofM is 16th in the BCS rankings... and apparently you must be at least 15th or 14th to be eligible.  But I ask, how can they move up from there?  If State loses, won't that diminish their computer rankings?  Since a State loss would be the only relevant activity to UofM's BCS ranking, wouldn't it have to go down due to the fact that A)State beat UofM (28 to 14, just sayin') and B)Two of UofM's signature wins were against teams that beat State (Notre Dame and Nebraska).  I don't see it happening but I just want to be on the record as saying that would be a truck-load of crap.

Shocktoberfest

Every October I do a horror movie marathon.  I like to call it Shocktoberfest.  I watch old ones, new ones, Italian ones, American ones, creature films, effect films, zombies, werewolves, aliens, serial killers, vampires, tortureporn, slashers, mashers, creepers, stalkers, maulers, crawlers and ghosties. Here's the lineup from this year's celebration:

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Genre: Zombies

George Romero's all-time classic follows a group of strangers that seek refuge in a Pennsylvania farmhouse as a mysterious phenomenon wakens the dead across the country.  Highlights include the stark opening in a hillside cemetery with a lone zombie wandering in the background and the pioneering use of source footage as law enforcement agents combat the zombies.

1408 (2008)

Genre: Haunted House (or hotel room in this case)

Hack haunted hotel writer, Mike Enslin (John Cusack) meets his match in the Dolphin Hotel's room 1408.  Highlights include a slick setup (haunted hotels aren't real, they're not real, OK maybe they're real) and when Mike consults his emergency map to discover there is indeed no way out.

The House of the Devil (2009)

Genre: Devil Worshiping Freaks

The credits say 2009 but everything else says this movie was made in the late seventies.  Everything is perfect in this ode to low-budget horror movies of yore.  The period detail and slow pace lull you in and then the film goes right off a cliff and lands somewhere you never thought could exist at the bottom of a cliff.  Highlights include two totally unexpected gunshots to the head and the opening credits. Yep.

Make-Out with Violence (2008)

Genre: Arthouse Zombies

False advertising on this one.  The plot is about two brothers whose prom queen crush vanishes and is presumed dead and then is rediscovered not dead but not exactly alive either.  The making of doc was far more interesting as a quarrelsome Tennessee art-collective struggles to make the film over several years.

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974)

Genre: British Zombies

Great start as two British mods get stranded at a country estate. The Netflix disc was scratched and I didn't finish it. Sigh.

An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Genre: Werewolves (in London)

John Landis' horror-comedy standard.  Two Americans backpack across England when they are accosted by a man-beast. One is murdered, the other wounded.  For some reason, the wounded guy does not return home until the next full moon despite his friends death. Things end badly.  Highlights include the penultimate creature effects of the era and a dreamed attack by Nazi mutants.

Deathdream (1974)
Genre: Zombie Vietnam War Vets

Directed by Bob (A Christmas Story) Clark. Andy's family receives news that Andy has been killed in Vietnam.  So when Andy shows up on the doorstep at home, they assume a mistake has obviously been made.  Something is not quite right with Andy though.  He stays up late rocking his chair, strangles dogs and oh yeah, his flesh is rotting and falling off.  Andy tries to conceal that last fact for as long as possible until getting set up on a date with his handsy sometimes-fling.  Highlights include the opening credits where we watch Andy get killed in slow-motion and the ending where Andy lies in a grave trying to cover himself with dirt.   

Dead and Buried (1981)
Genre: Zombies on the East Coast  

Dan Farentino (aka Dan, the dad from Wonder Years) investigates a rash of murders in a sleepy fishing town while his mortician-buddy takes way too much pride in his job.  Highlights include a host of early-eighties whats-their-names? and a Sixth Sense-esque twist ending. 

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Genre: Headless Horseghosts

It was time to revisit this one after only having seen it once.  Johnny Depp plays Johnny Depp in a Tim Burton movie and Christopher Walken snarls his way through as the Horsemen.  Highlights include a slew of beheadings and  a tree where all the resultant stray heads are stored like acorns.

Rosemary's Baby (1968)

Genre: Devil Worshiping Freaks

Say what you want about Roman Polanski but the guy makes great movies. It's your basic guy and girl move into apartment, girl gets raped by the devil story.  This movie alone could serve as source material for a season of Mad Men.  It's glorious. The building (filmed in NYC apartment building, The Dakota), the apartment, the music, the clothes, Mia farrow (I mean, cmon) and the mounting sense of dread and entrapment as Rosemary's Baby comes to term.  Yikes. Highlights include some crude but unsettling camera effects and Mia Farrow (that's Mrs. Sinatra to you).

When a Stranger Calls (1979)

Genre: Lunatic on the Loose

You know the ghost story where the prank calls turn out to be coming from inside the house.  That's this movie, they either started it or stole it. Whatever.  Most of this movie is a manhunt for a deranged killer book-ended by the Is He In the House? gimmick.  Highlights include the portrayal of the bad guy as so crazy that he's sometimes murderous instead of vice versa and the dead-pan delivery of the frantic dad asking the babysitter to "Please check the children."